Five+ months at Microsoft. I haven’t worked this hard since I came within a day of billing 300 hours one month at MoFo. I learned that month that more hours just led to more pain in my wrists.
There’s no end in sight here. My wrists hold up better, because I’m forcing myself to use voice recognition software. But there’s no end in sight to the hours. Every evening. Half of my weekends. A product team that does nothing but complain about the two years’ worth of work I have been unable to complete these past five months. A manager who means well, but is so overworked, he can’t provide me sufficient air cover or help me control my workload. In fact, he just seems to want to add more on top.
The other half of my weekends I lose to a complete lack of energy after the previous six days of working without rest. I don’t call old friends back on those days, because I know I’ll just whine. Hell, I’m so drained I still haven’t bought a birthday present for my nephew or my sister-in-law. Only a few days left.
I’m beginning to think this was a mistake.
No. It’s not. It wasn’t.
I’ll feel better Tuesday, I’m sure. I’m just in the umpteenth draft of my marketing plan, which my boss wants me to expand to unexecutable levels so he can argue for more headcount and build his empire. But at this point, the time I waste on planning programs I can’t possibly execute just means time away from programs the product team is expecting me to execute. Meaning more disprespectful remarks from one fellow on the product team.
I’ll feel better on Tuesday, I’m sure. The thrill of searching for a new home has passed. Now, I just have the reality of the financial committment, the inevitable second-guessing of my choices, knowing I’ll have to pack and unpack again when I really just need to work.
I’ll feel better on Tuesday, I’m sure. I have a regular Monday meeting with the product team. These meetings weren’t going so well in November and December (we haven’t met since before Christmas), and I’ve come to view them with a sense of dread, knowing I’ll have more disprespectful remarks from one fellow on the product team. That meeting drags me down every Sunday.
I’ll feel better Tuesday, I’m sure. It’s just that I had a budding relationship nipped in the bud today. The chemistry thing again. My penchant to appear stand-offish and cold as I slowly begin to trust someone. I can’t change myself, I’ve tried, but it’s so hard to find someone who has the patience to wait for my walls to break down. This is really what’s bugging me, I guess.
I’ll feel better Tuesday. I’ll feel better after Duncan and I start executing our evil plan involving the 500 smiley-face superballs I recently purchased. I’ll feel better after the inevitable agony of another meeting with the product team has passed. I’ll feel better after seeing the condo I want to purchase on Wednesday. I’ll feel better after I clean up the mess my apartment has become.
I always feel better after a couple of days. Just a couple of bad days. It’ll pass.